# NOW
# ONCE
# RINGLETS
# G-BOOK
# PROFILE
# EMAIL

but lovesick

So fat - cried today, forced, acidic tears. Need it out of me but there is nothing left to give. How many tears have I shed for you? Gallons, maybe.

Told myself I wouldn't eat, but did. Morning I had blueberries and toast (with margarine), mid-afternoon - heavy head and dizziness - succumbed to a cold veggie bacon, mustard and spinach sandwich on white bread. WHITE BREAD. For fuck's sake.

Expectations gauged like a knife in the chest.

How do you expect to win?, she asks me.